Denny’s Daily Zinger: Asking for Money to Save a Massive, Rusted-out Hunk of Junk

SS United States.

In early July, Peggy and I attended the Bridge Conference in D.C.—a gathering of the world’s leading fundraisers.
Passionate professionals described how to save children, clean the environment, eradicate disease and feed the hungry.


Save the SS United States!
The following week, The New York Times ran a story:
Keeping a Historic Ship Afloat

For 10 years, the United States—completely gutted—has turned Philadelphia’s waterfront into a slum.

To this day, she holds the world’s speed record from New York to Southampton—three days, 10 hours and 40 minutes.

The Sad History
In the early 1950s, the Pentagon wanted a fast (50-plus mph) ship that could be converted in 48 hours to carry 15,000 troops 11,000 miles without refueling.

Like the SST Concorde—her gigantic engines guaranteed she would never make money.

Launched in 1952, she was built entirely of iron and steel with only two pieces of wood—the butcher block and the dance floor.

Six years later, Pan American World Airways introduced the Boeing 707. Suddenly, working stiffs with two weeks’ vacation could get to Europe in seven hours and see the world.

After 400 voyages, United States was deader than Kelsey’s nuts.

Now, the designer’s daughter wants to tow it to New York and save it.

My reaction: A mongrel with no reason to exist.

Scrap it!

We’ll continue to give our money to help humans, animals and the environment rather to this useless wreck.

Remember, “yech” rhymes with “wreck.”


Denny Hatch’s new book is “Write Everything Right!” Robin Perron writes, “***** Five Stars. “Write Everything Right!” is a great resource for anyone who uses writing in their lives, because he talks about all forms of writing from emails to articles and memos. The goal is for everyone to write in a way that makes it easier for the reader to read it than to ignore it.” Click here to download (opens as a PDF) and read the first three chapters FREE. The title is also available on Kindle. Reach Denny at

Denny Hatch is the author of six books on marketing and four novels, and is a direct marketing writer, designer and consultant. His latest book is “Write Everything Right!” Visit him at

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  • Reg Doherty

    Yo, Denny! It’s called “EMPLOYMENT FOR SOME.” Just like a certain battleship nearby.

  • Matt J.

    Boy talk about being a hater. The ship has history and if someone wants to fix it up, then great. Just because it isn’t your cause, doesn’t make it right to disparage other’s. If you want to bitch about wasting money on something, why don’t you talk about US military spending billions on weapons the military doesn’t even want sometimes, and how that could be used to feed children. You don’t have to support all causes but I don’t see the point of being a hater.