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Pounding Moonbeams ...

Beware of government—and business—self-serving doublespeak

May 2008 By Denny Hatch
12

In the News

What the FBI Agents Saw
Does this sound familiar? Muslim men are stripped in front of female guards and sexually humiliated. A prisoner is made to wear a dog’s collar and leash, another is hooded with women’s underwear. Others are shackled in stress positions for hours, held in isolation for months, and threatened with attack dogs. You might think we are talking about that one cell block in Abu Ghraib, where President Bush wants the world to believe a few rogue soldiers dreamed up a sadistic nightmare. These atrocities were committed in the interrogation centers in American military prisons in Iraq, Afghanistan and Guantánamo Bay, Cuba. And they were not revealed by Red Cross officials, human rights activists, Democrats in Congress or others the administration writes off as soft-on-terror.
—Opinion, The New York Times, May 22, 2008
When self-righteous people—in government and business—make self-righteous statements that have a total disregard for the truth, my teeth itch.

These last two weeks have been a field day for folks who have what Hemingway called a “built-in, shockproof s**t detector.”

An example is President Bush’s lecture and scold to the World Economic Forum on the Middle East at Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt, four days ago. He said:

Too often in the Middle East, politics has consisted of one leader in power and the opposition in jail. America is deeply concerned about the plight of political prisoners in this region, as well as democratic activists who are intimidated or repressed, newspapers and civil society organizations that are shut down, and dissidents whose voices are stifled. The time has come for nations across the Middle East to abandon these practices, and treat their people with the dignity and respect they deserve. I call on all nations in this region to release their prisoners of conscience, open up their political debate, and trust their people to chart their future.

I urge every reader to read the lead editorial in today’s New York Times on the Justice Department’s report on FBI agent accounts of grotesque prisoner abuse by U.S. authorities in American prisons in Iraq, Afghanistan and Cuba that directly violates American law and the Geneva Conventions.

The lead of that editorial can be found under In the News at right.

When people in business and government say stupid things that are patently self-serving, I call it pounding moonbeams.

Moonbeams ...
Many years ago I worked with a guy named Smith, and one day we were swapping stories about our days in the Army. He came up with a phrase that has been etched in my memory for nearly 50 years. I have not heard it elsewhere.

It seems he did something stupid, and his sergeant called him on it. Instead of admitting his goof, he made up some lame excuse. The sergeant wrinkled his brow and thought for a moment.

“Smith,” he said at length, “quit pounding moonbeams up my ass.”

Some Recent Moonbeams From ...

* Laura Bush
The response to the cyclone is just the most recent example of the junta’s failure to meet its people’s basic needs.
—Remarks at the White House, May 5, 2008

Takeaway Points to Consider:

* Vet everything that speech writers and PR flaks do for you and your company.

* Make sure everything you say, write and offer passes the giggle test.

* If you say, write or offer something at variance with the truth—or common sense—for self-serving reasons, always remember somebody out there is out to “get you,” and the Internet makes the research job absurdly easy 24/7 from any access point in the world.

* “The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shockproof shit detector. This is the writer’s radar and all great writers have had it.”
—Ernest Hemingway

Web Sites Related to Today's Edition:

Remarks by President Bush to the World Economic Forum on the Middle East
http://tinyurl.com/6e8u2s

“What the FBI Agents Saw”
http://tinyurl.com/4gaoao

Mrs. Bush’s Statement on Burma
http://tinyurl.com/3ryqq5

“As Time Runs Short, Clinton Claims Lead in Popular Vote”
http://tinyurl.com/5xvfod

“Keep Beer in Beer Stores”
http://tinyurl.com/3f2wr9

“Critical New Orleans Levee Leaks Again”
http://www.philly.com/inquirer/world_us/20080522_Critical_New_Orleans_levee_leaks_again.html

Google Makes Health Service Publicly Available
http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/080519/google_health.html
http://tinyurl.com/4ebkvo
https://www.google.com/health/html/faq.html

“Academic Honesty, Hepatitis B & China’s Missing Women Problem”
http://tinyurl.com/6cqqrn

“Furniture Restorer’s Allegations of Deception Shake Antiques Trade”
http://tinyurl.com/5wnk62
 

Companies Mentioned:
12

COMMENTS

Click here to leave a comment...
Comment *
Most Recent Comments:
Steve Solomon - Posted on June 03, 2008
Denny, I didn't realize that so many of your readers are card carrying members of the Glenn Beck Fan Club.
Dev. Kinney - Posted on May 26, 2008
A later Hemingway quote: "No one thing is true. It's all true." Source: "Islands in the Stream" As far as our standing in the world, the people in foreign lands I talk to think that America is "all illusion." Believe me, credibility IS a problem. And we are ALL political prisoners.
Shel Horowitz, Ethical Marketing Expert - Posted on May 24, 2008
Bravo, Denny! I see your trenchant commentary brought the right wing out in droves--but I, for one, see your points as valid, and the moonbeaming Bush speech as yet another example of our loss of so much since January 2001 of what had made us great. As for the various comments about the NYT being a leftist rag...it sure didn't feel that way as Judith Miller led the charge to war, even as many of us noted, loudly, that the evidence was false and the cause unjust.
Dana - Posted on May 23, 2008
I always love reading the comments sections on posts like this - some people making sense, other people making it clear that they believe the "moonbeams" and want more. This phenomenon is worth examination: not just that powerful people are pumping out major B.S., but that people are lining up to buy into it. I'd be delighted to see Denny's insights on this one.
In the meantime, thanks for another fine post - keep fighting the good fight!
Jack Outhier - Posted on May 23, 2008
Denny, I found it amusing one of your takeaways was Hemingway's quote--?The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shockproof shit detector. This is the writer?s radar and all great writers have had it?--when you have just quoted a NYT article which has been proven to be exactly that, BS. Several of the "worst" reported violations have been proven to have been fabricated and most of the violations have nothing to do with "torture". The NYT, with its bent toward destruction of this administration regardless of the cost of that action, has proven itself effective by your testimony here. I just returned from China and have been in Europe and South America actually visiting with the people... nowhere have I encountered the anti-American sentiment I hear in our press other than when I encounter the rare student quoting our press.
Max Tollens - Posted on May 23, 2008
I agree with John Jervis and Andy Cutler; battlefield combatants and political prisoners aren't in the same class. This country stands for freedom and the ability for people to say disagreeable things without fear of being imprisoned. If President Bush was like Hugo Chavez, think of how many Democrats he would have had to throw into jail; the NYT and papers of its ilk would've been shuttered long ago. Which country is always first in line to provide aid to the 3rd world countries? How much money does the U.S. contribute to the U.N.? Go pound your moonbeams up someone else's ass.......
Bob Chenoweth - Posted on May 22, 2008
Among the key points Mr. Hatch makes, is "... the Justice Department?s report on FBI agent accounts of grotesque prisoner abuse by U.S. authorities in American prisons in Iraq, Afghanistan and Cuba that directly violates American law and the Geneva Conventions." As tragic as the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001 were, I'll never be convinced that violating American law and the rules of military conduct set out in the Geneva Conventions are ever justified. The worldwide loss of stature, credibility and character we Americans have suffered in the last 7 years is a direct result of just such corrupt and unconscionable actions by the biggest proponents of "moonbeam pounding" the USA has ever (regrettably) experienced. Denny Hatch for President! He certainly makes more sense -- both in direct marketing & politics -- than the current White House occupants could ever hope to make!! Denny, NEVER GIVE UP the good fight for truth, integrity and character. There are people among your readers who still believe these things are important.
Sean Giorgianni - Posted on May 22, 2008
Hemingway, itchy teeth, and moonbeams? In one article? I love it! Freedom of Speech is the right to say what you want. Democracy is the obligation to do so FORCEFULLY. Thank you Denny for the gift of your character.
Ann Wilson - Posted on May 22, 2008
Keep posting Denny. Keep preaching the truth - even when it's NOT what people want to hear. We've lost our standing with the rest of the world because of these insane practices! We are NOT the people to look up to anymore; we rank much farther down the listing now. How can you look up to a country that says one thing and does the exact opposite - screaming denials at the same time. For those of you that say it isn't true, is all a lie, is Liberal B******t, is a conspiracy.... I say back to you: Moonbeams!
MJS - Posted on May 22, 2008
Denny, I thought you knew by now that most of the news journalists and anchors in America are lying, scheming, agenda-driven junkies. They write propaganda. Of course they will focus on a few soldiers deranged behavior while ignoring the heroic actions of the thousands. Do you actually know any army troops? I do, and the ones I know are quality individuals. I wouldn't make huge blanket statements based on a few deranged individuals. I recently listened to a speaker who frequently goes to countries in the Middle East and actually talks to the people living there. His report of what happens there and their view of the U.S. is MUCH different than what the news propagandists are blasting at us. We can't trust the news junkies to tell us the truth anymore.
John Jervis - Posted on May 22, 2008
Pounding Moonbeams? Yes, you must be suffering from them! First, this story is over 4 years old. Second these are military prisoners, not political prisoners. Third, if the worst that happens is women's underwear on their heads, then don't send them to a frat party at Harvard! Look, no one likes to see any human degraded or hurt in any circumstance. What's great about this country is we will punish our military for doing these kinds of things while in Darfor they rape women kill their own for a lot less than these people were in these prisons for. Your stuff can be interesting if you stick to direct marketing where you have some credibility. Leave politics alone. The wacky left-leaning, anti-American sentiments are being handled very well by the NY Times. Does the NY Times object to Muslim disfigurement of women's genitals for lesser offenses? Do you? This is war as anyone who walks NY and sees the pit at ground zero is reminded. Enemy combatants are not political prisoners. If any of the prisoners of whom you speak are suffering worse than the 3,000 in the Twin Towers, then let me know. This is the worst they could come up with? And they repeat the story again? It's this kind of stuff that gives me a Pounding Moonbeam headaches.
Andy Cutler - Posted on May 22, 2008
Every time I listen to left-wing news outlets like the New York Times equate our treatment of prisoners with those of extremely repressive regimes, my teeth itch. There have been so many false accusations thrown repeatedly at our government and our troops that even smart people like you, Denny, have started to believe them. Repeat a lie long enough and it becomes the truth.
Click here to view archived comments...
Archived Comments:
Steve Solomon - Posted on June 03, 2008
Denny, I didn't realize that so many of your readers are card carrying members of the Glenn Beck Fan Club.
Dev. Kinney - Posted on May 26, 2008
A later Hemingway quote: "No one thing is true. It's all true." Source: "Islands in the Stream" As far as our standing in the world, the people in foreign lands I talk to think that America is "all illusion." Believe me, credibility IS a problem. And we are ALL political prisoners.
Shel Horowitz, Ethical Marketing Expert - Posted on May 24, 2008
Bravo, Denny! I see your trenchant commentary brought the right wing out in droves--but I, for one, see your points as valid, and the moonbeaming Bush speech as yet another example of our loss of so much since January 2001 of what had made us great. As for the various comments about the NYT being a leftist rag...it sure didn't feel that way as Judith Miller led the charge to war, even as many of us noted, loudly, that the evidence was false and the cause unjust.
Dana - Posted on May 23, 2008
I always love reading the comments sections on posts like this - some people making sense, other people making it clear that they believe the "moonbeams" and want more. This phenomenon is worth examination: not just that powerful people are pumping out major B.S., but that people are lining up to buy into it. I'd be delighted to see Denny's insights on this one.
In the meantime, thanks for another fine post - keep fighting the good fight!
Jack Outhier - Posted on May 23, 2008
Denny, I found it amusing one of your takeaways was Hemingway's quote--?The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shockproof shit detector. This is the writer?s radar and all great writers have had it?--when you have just quoted a NYT article which has been proven to be exactly that, BS. Several of the "worst" reported violations have been proven to have been fabricated and most of the violations have nothing to do with "torture". The NYT, with its bent toward destruction of this administration regardless of the cost of that action, has proven itself effective by your testimony here. I just returned from China and have been in Europe and South America actually visiting with the people... nowhere have I encountered the anti-American sentiment I hear in our press other than when I encounter the rare student quoting our press.
Max Tollens - Posted on May 23, 2008
I agree with John Jervis and Andy Cutler; battlefield combatants and political prisoners aren't in the same class. This country stands for freedom and the ability for people to say disagreeable things without fear of being imprisoned. If President Bush was like Hugo Chavez, think of how many Democrats he would have had to throw into jail; the NYT and papers of its ilk would've been shuttered long ago. Which country is always first in line to provide aid to the 3rd world countries? How much money does the U.S. contribute to the U.N.? Go pound your moonbeams up someone else's ass.......
Bob Chenoweth - Posted on May 22, 2008
Among the key points Mr. Hatch makes, is "... the Justice Department?s report on FBI agent accounts of grotesque prisoner abuse by U.S. authorities in American prisons in Iraq, Afghanistan and Cuba that directly violates American law and the Geneva Conventions." As tragic as the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001 were, I'll never be convinced that violating American law and the rules of military conduct set out in the Geneva Conventions are ever justified. The worldwide loss of stature, credibility and character we Americans have suffered in the last 7 years is a direct result of just such corrupt and unconscionable actions by the biggest proponents of "moonbeam pounding" the USA has ever (regrettably) experienced. Denny Hatch for President! He certainly makes more sense -- both in direct marketing & politics -- than the current White House occupants could ever hope to make!! Denny, NEVER GIVE UP the good fight for truth, integrity and character. There are people among your readers who still believe these things are important.
Sean Giorgianni - Posted on May 22, 2008
Hemingway, itchy teeth, and moonbeams? In one article? I love it! Freedom of Speech is the right to say what you want. Democracy is the obligation to do so FORCEFULLY. Thank you Denny for the gift of your character.
Ann Wilson - Posted on May 22, 2008
Keep posting Denny. Keep preaching the truth - even when it's NOT what people want to hear. We've lost our standing with the rest of the world because of these insane practices! We are NOT the people to look up to anymore; we rank much farther down the listing now. How can you look up to a country that says one thing and does the exact opposite - screaming denials at the same time. For those of you that say it isn't true, is all a lie, is Liberal B******t, is a conspiracy.... I say back to you: Moonbeams!
MJS - Posted on May 22, 2008
Denny, I thought you knew by now that most of the news journalists and anchors in America are lying, scheming, agenda-driven junkies. They write propaganda. Of course they will focus on a few soldiers deranged behavior while ignoring the heroic actions of the thousands. Do you actually know any army troops? I do, and the ones I know are quality individuals. I wouldn't make huge blanket statements based on a few deranged individuals. I recently listened to a speaker who frequently goes to countries in the Middle East and actually talks to the people living there. His report of what happens there and their view of the U.S. is MUCH different than what the news propagandists are blasting at us. We can't trust the news junkies to tell us the truth anymore.
John Jervis - Posted on May 22, 2008
Pounding Moonbeams? Yes, you must be suffering from them! First, this story is over 4 years old. Second these are military prisoners, not political prisoners. Third, if the worst that happens is women's underwear on their heads, then don't send them to a frat party at Harvard! Look, no one likes to see any human degraded or hurt in any circumstance. What's great about this country is we will punish our military for doing these kinds of things while in Darfor they rape women kill their own for a lot less than these people were in these prisons for. Your stuff can be interesting if you stick to direct marketing where you have some credibility. Leave politics alone. The wacky left-leaning, anti-American sentiments are being handled very well by the NY Times. Does the NY Times object to Muslim disfigurement of women's genitals for lesser offenses? Do you? This is war as anyone who walks NY and sees the pit at ground zero is reminded. Enemy combatants are not political prisoners. If any of the prisoners of whom you speak are suffering worse than the 3,000 in the Twin Towers, then let me know. This is the worst they could come up with? And they repeat the story again? It's this kind of stuff that gives me a Pounding Moonbeam headaches.
Andy Cutler - Posted on May 22, 2008
Every time I listen to left-wing news outlets like the New York Times equate our treatment of prisoners with those of extremely repressive regimes, my teeth itch. There have been so many false accusations thrown repeatedly at our government and our troops that even smart people like you, Denny, have started to believe them. Repeat a lie long enough and it becomes the truth.