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Another Insensitive Idiot Runs for Congress

Could this nitwit get a job in the real world?

January 7, 2014 By Denny Hatch
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Get the Flash Player to see this rotator.
 

As readers of this cranky rag may remember, I had nine jobs in my first 12 years in business and was fired from five of them.

I am a workaholic. I have worked steadily for 60 years and will continue to work until I am carried out of my office feet first.

On Dec. 28, long-term unemployment insurance was cut off from millions of Americans who have been laid off/fired/made redundant.

Say a person is 55. Has worked steadily for 30 years. Taxes and FICA have been paid faithfully. Suddenly the axe falls. Outsourcing and robots have wrecked the job market.

With the financial cut-off, Congress is saying to this loyal, taxpaying citizen who has been working for 30 years: "All long-term unemployed people are lazy bums looking for a handout. You're a leech on the system. Stop whining and get a job."

This makes my blood boil.

The E-Pitch from a Wannabe Congressional Poacher
My representative in Congress is Bob Brady. Good guy. Decent. Hard working. Nothing like this guy.

[See the media player at right for the email from a poacher. Please note: The original message I received is centered. It cannot be reproduced here, but it looks (and reads) real stupid.]

Date: Dec. 30, 2013

From: Daylin Leach          Subject Line:  Subject Line?

Dear Denny:

If you are like me (and who isn't?), you've been receiving a lot of last-minute, end of quarter solicitations from political candidates. It turns out, that after careful scientific study, we can safely conclude that contrary to popular (meaning my...) opinion, people do NOT love getting these. I repeat, do NOT love getting these.

You can tell that they are solicitations because they always include a line that says something like: "Click here to make your contribution before our deadline to help Daylin get elected."

It wasn't always like this. People used to love getting frequent, unsolicited requests for campaign contributions. But something changed in the mid 80s. I blame X-Box. Or Wham. Or both.

In any event I know you receive a number of these, not only from me, but from candidates for Governor, or the State Legislature, or the College of Cardinals, etc. So we've really been wracking our brains trying to find the best ways to stand out. We feel it is important to have a catchy subject line, so we've been experiment with subject lines that are alarming:

 
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COMMENTS

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Most Recent Comments:
Brendan Ross - Posted on January 07, 2014
Is there some way we could roll back the clock to the good old days and pay Congress on a piecework basis. That way if they didn't get anything accomplished, no paycheck. And with the NLRB without any real power, they'd be stuck.
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Archived Comments:
Brendan Ross - Posted on January 07, 2014
Is there some way we could roll back the clock to the good old days and pay Congress on a piecework basis. That way if they didn't get anything accomplished, no paycheck. And with the NLRB without any real power, they'd be stuck.