So where are the direct mail campaigns?
Greetings from Florida. I moved here permanently in the middle of June to be close to my mother. Now, instead of commuting from New York to Miami, I commute from Miami to New York.
My staff, Michael, Dwain and Pepper, is down here with me, and the rest of our merry crew works out of our office in New Haven, Conn.
Our new office is on the second floor of the lovely and brand-new Harbormaster’s office in a marina in Hollywood, which is about halfway between Fort Lauderdale and Miami Beach. I like the view: water, yachts bigger than my NYC apartment, palm trees and the occasional pelican flying in to see if we have any fish to spare.
So here we are: new homes, new office and the lot of us ready to buy all kinds of stuff from insurance to bathing suits. We certainly need new tropical wardrobes. Our New York, all-black ninja outfits don’t, as Marisa Tomei said to Joe Pesci in “My Cousin Vinnie,” “blend,” even though this part of Florida, dubbed “the Sixth Borough of New York City,” is teeming with New Yorkers.
We need everything new: office furniture, bank accounts, favorite restaurants, dry cleaners, grocery stores, mechanics, stock brokers, dentists, bookstores. I needed a new car, which I already bought because I have to drive to work here.
We really need—not just want—things, and just about nobody has asked us for our business.
So, where are the direct mail campaigns to help point the way to new vendors, stores, dry cleaners, car dealerships and all the other things we’re trying to sort through here in South Florida? A recent e-mail told me that 1.5 million families move each month, and they spend 10 times what an average family does in the first year in their new home. You’d think somebody would have noticed us wandering around, lost.