Search results for The New Yorker
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April 13, 2010 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
As I get older—and my time on this planet gets shorter—I go berserk when people promise one thing in writing, deliver something else and waste my time.
At right "IN THE NEWS" is the lede of Howard Shapiro's review of "Death of a Salesman" by Arthur Miller at the University of Delaware, roughly an hour's drive from my house in center city Philadelphia.
I wanted to know one thing quickly: was this production worth the trip?
Of the 403-word review, the first 88 words are devoted to the excruciatingly dull details of how Shapiro got stuck in stop-and-go 8 mph traffic that caused him to miss Act I.
Shapiro spends the next 94 words dumping all over Arthur Miller's first act—which he has not seen:
Ah, yes, the babbling, daydreaming Willy Loman, aging badly from a hard life of sales on the road, is in his Brooklyn house, frightening his wife with his erratic behavior. He's also yelling at his grown boys—particularly Biff, who had been Willy's great hope and now is his constant disappointment.
In all, 182 words—or 45 percent of this supposed review—are expended (1) highlighting Howard Shapiro's self-described inability to keep an appointment and (2) wasting my time.
Shapiro and his editor—if such an animal exists in the bankrupt Philadelphia Inquirer—should be fired for letting this irrelevant drivel see print.
My message to Howard Shapiro—and to everyone that writes for public consumption (as opposed to private diaries or journals):
- Consider the readers needs and wants before your own
- Ruthlessly self-edit, because most businesses do not have professional editors.
November 18, 2008 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
Late last summer I ordered two pairs of chino trousers from L.L. Bean and a couple polo shirts, which arrived a day or two later. I clothed my upper and lower halves with the new merchandise, and both pieces fit my dreadful flesh-case beautifully.
Where Land's End trousers seem to slip off the spare tire of my middle and threaten to drop down around my ankles just when I'm carrying a heavy sack of groceries in one hand and a gallon of Stoli in the other, these marvels from L.L. Bean look and feel custom tailored. I was thrilled.
When it came time to wash them, I looked at the label to see what the settings should be and discovered the polo shirts were made in Thailand. On the chino trousers label, a line of copy made my blood run cold.
"Made in China."
The Chinese government is brutal, repressive and vicious. In China, a nation of polluters, a new coal-fired plant comes online every 10 days. The brown cloud over Beijing is disgusting. The Chinese are also state-sanctioned killers of girl babies. In addition, they kill other babies (poisoned milk), American children (lead paint in toys), beloved dogs (poisoned pet food) and Tibetan monks, as well as being jailers of dissidents and the press. China's blatant counterfeiting of luxury and everyday products—together with massive theft of intellectual property—is responsible for billions of dollars in losses the world over.
I resent L.L. Bean making me an unwitting accomplice to criminal behavior.
July 2008 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
Last week, I picked up the July 28 issue of The New Yorker and was fascinated to see a story titled: “All the Answers: The quiz-show scandals—and the aftermath,” by Charles Van Doren. For 50 years, Charles Van Doren has been consigned to living hell. He’s one of the few notable Americans (along with Bill Clinton) who knows that he screwed up so badly that the first paragraph of his obituary will deal with a major scandal rather than his accomplishments. Three examples of unfortunate first paragraphs: Richard M. Nixon, the 37th president of the United States—a polarizing figure who won a record landslide
July 2008 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
I’ve written a number of times that one way to deal harshly with unfriendly media is to deny access: Issue no press credentials. Force them to stand with their noses to the window pane and regurgitate the same AP or Reuters stories that all the other cheapskate newspapers and magazines use. That the Obama campaign has denied access to The New Yorker is delicious. I have 104 days to make up my mind, and I’m still not sure about Barack Obama or John McCain. Will this be yet another presidential election where I go into a voting booth holding my nose and pulling the
June 2008 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
Here are two stories about people working for two businesses—an employee in one and members of the board in the other—who knew a lot about their respective companies. Both allegedly annexed a core product and went into competition with it. Both cases have resulted in lawsuits and countersuits. A person that would do this to an employer is a fungus—a parasitic organism that obtains nourishment by locking onto a host and sucking it dry. What can you do if such a person is loose in your company? If you have an idea for a new product, do you develop it and then offer it
May 2008 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
In more jobs than I care to remember, my single objective was efficiency: How could the most value be created for the least cost, and then sold to delighted customers and eager prospects at the highest profit? When I read last week that two Philadelphia TV stations—Fox29 and NBC10—are going to test the possibility of sharing video footage, I was intrigued. The idea that competing news gatherers would pool their resources is a breakthrough! For example, CBS and CNN spend millions of dollars on equipment and personnel gathering news in Iraq, mostly going after the same stories, interviewing the same people and doing stand-up
August 2007 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
Yahoo! has been instructed not to filter my e-mail for spam. I want to see everything. What are the new trends? How many millions does Mme. Obi-Wan Kenobi want to transfer into my bank account from Darfur? What is the current method of spelling V*I-A*grA? “One mathematically minded blogger who looked into it,” wrote Michael Specter in the Aug. 6, 2007, New Yorker, “found that there are 600,426,974,379,824, 381,952 ways to spell Viagra.” Specter’s 4,600-word article is almost the last word on spam—a monumental discourse on the history, arithmetic (amount of spam and the ROI needed to make a profit), how it works and
‘I Say It’s Spinach ...’
October 2006 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
On Dec. 8, 1928, The New Yorker ran one of its most famous cartoons drawn by Carl Rose with text by E. B. White. It depicted a small child eating dinner. The caption: Young mother: “It’s broccoli, dear.” Young daughter: “I say it’s spinach, and I say the hell with it.” Recently, I’ve been buying bagged spinach and either microwaving it in the bag or sauteing it with a ton of garlic. Great stuff, until nearly 200 people in 26 states became seriously ill with E. coli from tainted bagged spinach supplied by Natural Selection Foods in California’s Salinas Valley. At least one person died and 29 others
October 2006 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
On Dec. 8, 1928, The New Yorker ran one of its most famous cartoons drawn by Carl Rose with text by E. B. White. It depicted a small child eating dinner. The caption: Young mother: “It’s broccoli, dear.” Young daughter: “I say it’s spinach, and I say the hell with it.” Recently, I’ve been buying bagged spinach and either microwaving it in the bag or sauteing it with a ton of garlic. Great stuff, until nearly 200 people in 26 states became seriously ill with E. coli from tainted bagged spinach supplied by Natural Selection Foods in California’s Salinas Valley. At least one person died and 29 others
Famous Last Words: Make It Easy to Order
October 2006 From Target Marketing
Magazine blow-ins—the little subscription cards that fall out of magazines—are very efficient in bringing in new subscribers. The reason is obvious. If a non-subscriber reads an article in a magazine and wishes to subscribe, the means to do so is at hand. All you do is fill in the postage-paid card and drop it in the mail. The magazine starts arriving, and you pay the bill. Blow-ins (and bind-ins) work. They are responsible for an average of 12 percent of new magazine subscriptions at a cost per order of $5 to $10—peanuts compared to a direct mail shot. Blow-ins also irritate people. Back in 1987, New
October 2006 From Target Marketing
Magazine blow-ins—the little subscription cards that fall out of magazines—are very efficient in bringing in new subscribers. The reason is obvious. If a non-subscriber reads an article in a magazine and wishes to subscribe, the means to do so is at hand. All you do is fill in the postage-paid card and drop it in the mail. The magazine starts arriving, and you pay the bill. Blow-ins (and bind-ins) work. They are responsible for an average of 12 percent of new magazine subscriptions at a cost per order of $5 to $10—peanuts compared to a direct mail shot. Blow-ins also irritate people. Back in 1987, New
BCS72006_ReadersRespond
July 2006 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
Readers Respond to “Book Pirates!” published July 18, 2006, which discussed Kessinger Publishing’s copyright theft. A fine depiction of your copyright problem. Since the damages occurred where you live, how about filing for the max in small claims court—separately—against all parties involved. That way they have to show up in your local court, without lawyers and at the mercy of your neighborhood judge. Subpoena their records relevant to the infringements. If they don’t supply them, they lose. Very unlikely they’ll want to show up and, if not, they lose. You can usually collect via local sheriffs or similar. My guess is that you’ll get some
July 2006 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
Readers Respond to “Book Pirates!” published July 18, 2006, which discussed Kessinger Publishing’s copyright theft. A fine depiction of your copyright problem. Since the damages occurred where you live, how about filing for the max in small claims court—separately—against all parties involved. That way they have to show up in your local court, without lawyers and at the mercy of your neighborhood judge. Subpoena their records relevant to the infringements. If they don’t supply them, they lose. Very unlikely they’ll want to show up and, if not, they lose. You can usually collect via local sheriffs or similar. My guess is that you’ll get some
Philly Phundraising Phollies
December 2005 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
Plus … Best Wishes for a Joyous Holiday Dec. 20, 2005: Vol. 1, Issue No. 57 IN THE NEWS Letters | Academy of Natural Sciences not serving well It's indeed a shame the museum is going under, but The Inquirer's article ["Dinosaur Museum Itself Is Threatened"] stresses its importance only to the scientific community. The museum hasn't been stressing its importance to the general public for many, many years; that neglect shows, and that's why the public has turned away from it. --Allene Murphey, Letter to the Editors, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Dec. 16, 2005 In the 1980s, the Whitney Museum of American
December 2005 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
Plus … Best Wishes for a Joyous Holiday Dec. 20, 2005: Vol. 1, Issue No. 57 IN THE NEWS Letters | Academy of Natural Sciences not serving well It's indeed a shame the museum is going under, but The Inquirer's article ["Dinosaur Museum Itself Is Threatened"] stresses its importance only to the scientific community. The museum hasn't been stressing its importance to the general public for many, many years; that neglect shows, and that's why the public has turned away from it. --Allene Murphey, Letter to the Editors, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Dec. 16, 2005 In the 1980s, the Whitney Museum of American
The Corporate Pitch
July 2005 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
Who Speaks for Your Company? The new General Motors strategy of offering employee pricing on all new models resulted in a 47-percent sales increase in June. Ford promptly followed suit. Chrysler went them both one better by not only offering employee discounts but bringing back Lee Iacocca--the man who saved the company in 1982 and became its spokesman--to do the TV commercials, complete with the line he made famous, "If you can find a better car, buy it." In 1955 Ogilvy & Mather dreamed up the idea of using the CEO of Schweppes USA, the elegant, bearded Commander Edward Whitehead, as the centerpiece of
July 2005 From Denny Hatch's Business Common Sense
Who Speaks for Your Company? The new General Motors strategy of offering employee pricing on all new models resulted in a 47-percent sales increase in June. Ford promptly followed suit. Chrysler went them both one better by not only offering employee discounts but bringing back Lee Iacocca--the man who saved the company in 1982 and became its spokesman--to do the TV commercials, complete with the line he made famous, "If you can find a better car, buy it." In 1955 Ogilvy & Mather dreamed up the idea of using the CEO of Schweppes USA, the elegant, bearded Commander Edward Whitehead, as the centerpiece of
When Marketing Was Fun ?
November 2003 From Target Marketing
By Denny Hatch I hate to count the number of times I have nearly veered off the road trying to figure out what a wordy billboard is all about. Billboards today are serious and confusing. Does anyone remember the old red-and-white Burma-Shave signs by the side of the road—one after the other—that touted the brushless shaving cream? There were several hundred versions of these—every one of them a hoot. Each sign had a little bit of copy; just enough so that you didn't take your eyes off the road for too long. This was followed by another and another, until you had the whole
November 2003 From Target Marketing
By Denny Hatch I hate to count the number of times I have nearly veered off the road trying to figure out what a wordy billboard is all about. Billboards today are serious and confusing. Does anyone remember the old red-and-white Burma-Shave signs by the side of the road—one after the other—that touted the brushless shaving cream? There were several hundred versions of these—every one of them a hoot. Each sign had a little bit of copy; just enough so that you didn't take your eyes off the road for too long. This was followed by another and another, until you had the whole
Creative Corner?Catch the Direct Marketing Bug (1,204 words)
December 2001 From Target Marketing
How You Can Become a Direct Marketing Entrepreneur By Lois K. Geller When I started in direct marketing, it didn't occur to me that I would ever become a direct marketing entrepreneur. My first job was in continuity publishing with Greystone Press. I wrote "The New International Art Encyclopedia." I enjoyed doing it, and I guess I did a good job because my employer asked if I wanted to take a shot at writing direct marketing copy. I did. And as a result, I got more involved in learning about the direct marketing process. I studied list selection, offers and design, and I watched
December 2001 From Target Marketing
How You Can Become a Direct Marketing Entrepreneur By Lois K. Geller When I started in direct marketing, it didn't occur to me that I would ever become a direct marketing entrepreneur. My first job was in continuity publishing with Greystone Press. I wrote "The New International Art Encyclopedia." I enjoyed doing it, and I guess I did a good job because my employer asked if I wanted to take a shot at writing direct marketing copy. I did. And as a result, I got more involved in learning about the direct marketing process. I studied list selection, offers and design, and I watched
Going Where Your Prospects Go (927 words)
July 2001 From Target Marketing
Strategies for using alternative media to surround your market By Denny Hatch When I started out in this business back in the 1960s, bulk mail postage cost as little as 2 cents and 3 cents. Consultant Paul Goldberg reminded me that when list rental prices went up from $12.50/M to $15/M, the industry screamed bloody murder. What's more, back in those halcyon days, people did not receive much advertising mail; your piece would be scrutinized and acted upon. Today, direct mail represents a very different story. The basic bulk mail postage rate is a whopping $250/M. If you mail a good deal and
July 2001 From Target Marketing
Strategies for using alternative media to surround your market By Denny Hatch When I started out in this business back in the 1960s, bulk mail postage cost as little as 2 cents and 3 cents. Consultant Paul Goldberg reminded me that when list rental prices went up from $12.50/M to $15/M, the industry screamed bloody murder. What's more, back in those halcyon days, people did not receive much advertising mail; your piece would be scrutinized and acted upon. Today, direct mail represents a very different story. The basic bulk mail postage rate is a whopping $250/M. If you mail a good deal and
