Open Enrollment | Subscribe to Target Marketing HERE
Connect
Follow us on
Advertisement
 
Denny Hatch's Blog

Denny Hatch's Blog

By Denny Hatch

About Denny

Author, direct marketing guru, and always entertaining Denny Hatch focuses on a major story in the news and shows how businesses can take advantage of–or avoid the pitfalls from–the lessons to be learned in terms of marketing, sales, PR and communications.

 

Making Social Sell

Jeff Molander
Writing Effective InMail and Sales Emails: Don't Ask for the Appointment
Aug 22, 2014

Here's my best tip on writing effective sales emails or LinkedIn InMail messages: Don't ask for the appointment. Instead, earn...



Ruthless B-to-B Marketing

Ruth P.  Stevens
B-to-B Marketing Is Falling Down on the Job
Jul 9, 2014

I heard a horror story the other day—a consumer packaged goods executive ranting about a meeting with a vendor. "I...



Muscle Marketing

Wendy Montes de Oca
PPC Shockers and Secrets
Jul 29, 2014

Pay per click (PPC), particularly Google AdWords, is a marketing channel that can produce profitable results for your business, whether...



Direct Mail for the Modern Marketer

Summer Gould
Empower Your Direct Mail With Mobile
Aug 21, 2014

Direct mail marketing has been around for a long time; it's sometimes thought of as the "old goat" of marketing....



Brand Matters

Andrea Syverson
Season's Greetings!
Aug 21, 2014

Perhaps like me, you love summer and all it entails: longer days, outdoor play, flip-flop casualness, patio grilling, hummingbirds, wildflowers...



Marketing Sustainably

Chet Dalzell
Should USPS Retrofit Facilities for E-commerce Fulfillment?
Aug 18, 2014

Three trends make me wonder if there's money to be found in U.S. Postal Service real estate. First, the Postal...



Yblog

Yory Wurmser
Privacy in the Age of Big Data
Jul 10, 2013

Consumers reveal more than ever before consciously through social media and, just as importantly, unconsciously through their behaviors. This data...



Who's Your Data?

Rio Longacre
Instagram: Does It Matter That It Will Make Money on Your Pics?
Dec 19, 2012

Instagram announced the company will soon begin using your content to sell targeted advertising products to the highest bidder. Does...



The Whole Magilla

Ken Magill
What Marketers Can Learn From Maine's Political Email Idiocy
Feb 24, 2012

It finally happened. Politicians' idiotic email practices had a measurable negative effect. "Maine Republican Party chairman Charlie Webster has admitted...



Reinventing Direct

Gary Hennerberg
10 Storytelling-in-Content Marketing Lessons Learned
Aug 20, 2014

Storytelling lifts content marketing into more powerful messaging. Today we share 10 lessons learned as a result of a content...



The Power Punch

Carolyn Goodman
The Fun of Marketing Lexicons
Aug 15, 2014

The first time I heard Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie referred to as "Brangelina," I admit I laughed out loud....



Big Data, Small Data, Clean Data, Messy Data

Stephen  H. Yu
Beyond RFM Data
Aug 14, 2014

In the world of predictive analytics, the transaction data is the king of the hill. The master of the domain....



Marketing Nuggets

Michael Lowenstein
When Viral Marketing Goes Too Far
Aug 12, 2014

A couple of years ago, our local newspaper, The Philadelphia Inquirer, ran a disturbing story about how a mortgage loan...



Mobile-First Marketing

Greg Hoy
How to Fast-Track Your Mobile Marketing Initiatives
Aug 11, 2014

Marketers are finally realizing the potential of adding mobile marketing to their overall strategies. According to Comscore, mobile commerce spending...



The Integrated Email

Cyndie Shaffstall
Wasted Personalization
Aug 11, 2014

Chatting with a friend about this article, he suggested I write about the most memorable email I've received. And while...



Keeping Search Profitable

Amanda G. Watlington, Ph.D.
Is Your Content Fresh, Frequent and Unique?
Aug 5, 2014

Today, your content plays a much larger role in getting top search results than ever before; therefore, it may be...



Here's What Counts

Chuck McLeester
Use Market Research to Tie Brand Awareness and Purchase Intent to Sales
Jul 31, 2014

For years, I've been saying direct marketers are their own worst enemy when it comes to measurement. Direct marketers are...



Online Video Marketing Deep Dive

Eve Grey
Are Your Videos Champions of Your Brand?
Feb 3, 2014

If you advertise in an ordinary way, it's safe to expect ordinary results. However, when you take the extreme and...



Think Mobility

Greg Hickman
‘I Can't Because, I Need ... ’
Oct 7, 2013

Does this sound like you? Have you ever set up a goal, but then realized (either quickly or too late)...



Triple Venti Dolce Data...

Vince Pickett
Clue Me In, Please
Aug 21, 2013

So here we are, halfway through 2013. You, along with everyone, are still trying to find that magic formula to...



SEO & Content Marketing Revue

Heather Lloyd-Martin
5 Tips for Top Positioning (And Converting) Page Titles
Aug 11, 2010

Wondering about a SEO content strategy that offers the biggest impact in the shortest time? Try tweaking your page titles....



Two Words That Wrecked an Otherwise Superb e-Sales Pitch

 
Get the Flash Player to see this rotator.
 

[NOTE: All names and numbers have been changed to protect the inept.]

"Always see a salesman once," said my first boss and mentor, children's book publisher (and ace salesman) Franklin Watts.

The reason is obvious: you never know when (1) the guy has something to make you rich or (2) he is so good that you should hire him.

During 50 years in business, I have been receptive to reasonable blandishments from strangers by phone, letter, in person and—in recent years—e-mail.

James O'Malley called me and said that during this recession, many companies were having trouble getting paid. He said that his firm was employed by a number of direct marketing companies to collect overdue receivables and asked if I could use his services.

I gave him my usual line, "I'm a 'see' guy, not a 'hear' guy. Could you e-mail me some information?"

O'Malley said he would. Did I have any outstanding receivables currently that would require his services? I said that I did not, but who knows what the future would bring.

Five minutes later I received the following e-mail from James O'Malley:

your new Legal & Collection firm

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 11:02 AM

From:

"James O'Malley" <jomalley@b-s-minc.com>

To: dennyhatch@yahoo.com

Message contains attachments

BSM 2009 EMAIL Packet (James O'Malley) PC.doc (42KB)

Denny,

We spoke today about protecting your company on current and future collection issues. Our collection ratios are more than double those of in house attempts, OR competing attorneys and collection firms, and many times we can collect within 3-5 business days. Attached please find the information you requested regarding our firm, along with a placement form.

Please get together the exact amount, invoice number, and date of invoices as soon as possible.

We are excited about the opportunity to help dramatically increase your cash flow. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at the number below.

 <see attachments>

Sincerely,

James O'Malley
Client Services Manager
800.555.8020
602.555.8041

www.b-s-minc.com

So far so good, I thought, as I clicked on the attachment. I believed James O'Malley cared about me, wanted my business and spent serious time trying to woo me. After all, he called and asked for me by name and immediately followed up with a personalized e-mail. This was a thoroughgoing professional sales effort that made me feel important.

"It's a basic tenet of selling," wrote the late copy guru Bill Jayme, "that in the marketplace as in theater, there is indeed a factor at work called 'the willing suspension of disbelief.'"

The attachment—which arrived in Word—was three pages. The first page was a memo from James O'Malley describing the history of his company and why I should use his services. Page two was a description of precisely what services O'Malley's firm could provide. And the third page was a form for me to fill out to get the ball rolling.

Alas, the first page was NOT a personal memo to me from James O'Malley. Here is how it read:

To: Potential Client

From: James O'Malley

As mentioned, the attachment was in Word format, which means he could have spent an additional two seconds replacing "Potential Client" with "Denny Hatch" and closed the loop, making me believe that he was talking exclusively and personally to me.

Instead of a highly professional personal message, O'Malley threw an e-pie in my face, saying in effect, "Yeah, I'm sending this to a lot of people. You're a big boy. You understand."

In short, he broke the spell and triggered what Hemingway called my "shockproof, built-in shit detector."

In addition, the following two sentences in the memo are grammatically incorrect:

 >>Our combined 75 years of experience, professionalism and dedication to our clients, allows us to exceed all industry standards and provide you with the most expeditious results. <<

(The verbs—"allows" and "provide"—should agree.)

>>By utilizing our vast resources, as well as our investigating techniques to determine the debtor's financial condition, provides us the information needed to best collect the account. <<

(The first word should be deleted.)

Admittedly, these are small details, but they indicate sloppy preparation. Would I trust these careless people to be in direct contact with my customers and clients—those folks who hopefully will be paying their bills on time once this damned recession is over and long after O'Malley's services are no longer required?

Uh-uh.

Click on the image below to enlarge.

Sections:

COMMENTS

Click here to leave a comment...
Comment *
Most Recent Comments: