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By Denny Hatch
This column is written for the 50 or more people whom I stood up at a private corporate conference near San Francisco on six days notice, as well as thousands of meeting planners everywhere. My e-mail to the host is reproduced below. I have not named the company, but anyone with a knowledge of the corporate culture of Bay Area high-tech companies and an ounce of intuition should be able to figure it out.
Bill: I got back from New York City late yesterday and was too wiped to return your call.
So you understand what went on, when your [person's name] called to confirm that I was invited to speak at the [Company Name] conference, she dropped a not-so-subtle hint that it would be nice if I didn't charge anything beyond expenses. It was to be three days out of my life—a full day in transit out, performance day and a full day in transit back. I've done these in-and-out-of-the-West-Coast-for-one-day jaunts, and the following day I am a zombie from jet lag. So it is really four days in which I could not do any real work. I said I'd do it for $1,000 plus expenses—which over four days is $250 a day or, after taxes, around $125 net. You agreed to the $1,000. I made a plane reservation—Philly to SFO and back at $1,900.
I received an e-mail asking what flight I was on so I could be met at the airport. I e-mailed back the flight information—Flight #65 getting in around 5 p.m. A couple of days ago, I received an e-mail from her saying she needed my presentation immediately as she was going to press with the workbook. I do not like to give out my presentation in advance. Along with a lot of hard information, there is a bunch of funny stuff, and I do not want the audience reading my punch lines before I deliver them.
So I excised some of the punch lines out of my presentation and e-mailed them to [person's name]. She e-mailed me to say she would prefer me to use PowerPoint for my presentation, and asked if I wanted her to help me create a PowerPoint presentation? I e-mailed her that the presentation is on the Mac version of PowerPoint, and no thank you.
Monday night at 9 p.m. (EST) [one week prior to my departure] she asked if I didn't want her to help me create a PowerPoint presentation. Bill, I've been in front of audiences for 40 years and have given talks all over the country and elsewhere. I did not appreciate a condescending little functionary suggesting I don't know how to give a talk. Then she asked me if I had booked a business class seat because [Company Name] rules say no business class. I said, No, I booked an economy seat on US Airways. How much was it? she asked. Around $1,900, I said. That is too much money, she said. Her travel person found a United flight from Philadelphia to Orlando with a more than three-hour layover in Orlando and then a flight to San Francisco—return the same way—for $350. I listened in stunned silence as she read this itinerary to me. What's more, she said, [Company Name] would be glad to pay the rebooking fee. I started mentally calculating the hours.
This column is written for the 50 or more people whom I stood up at a private corporate conference near San Francisco on six days notice, as well as thousands of meeting planners everywhere. My e-mail to the host is reproduced below. I have not named the company, but anyone with a knowledge of the corporate culture of Bay Area high-tech companies and an ounce of intuition should be able to figure it out.
Bill: I got back from New York City late yesterday and was too wiped to return your call.
So you understand what went on, when your [person's name] called to confirm that I was invited to speak at the [Company Name] conference, she dropped a not-so-subtle hint that it would be nice if I didn't charge anything beyond expenses. It was to be three days out of my life—a full day in transit out, performance day and a full day in transit back. I've done these in-and-out-of-the-West-Coast-for-one-day jaunts, and the following day I am a zombie from jet lag. So it is really four days in which I could not do any real work. I said I'd do it for $1,000 plus expenses—which over four days is $250 a day or, after taxes, around $125 net. You agreed to the $1,000. I made a plane reservation—Philly to SFO and back at $1,900.
I received an e-mail asking what flight I was on so I could be met at the airport. I e-mailed back the flight information—Flight #65 getting in around 5 p.m. A couple of days ago, I received an e-mail from her saying she needed my presentation immediately as she was going to press with the workbook. I do not like to give out my presentation in advance. Along with a lot of hard information, there is a bunch of funny stuff, and I do not want the audience reading my punch lines before I deliver them.
So I excised some of the punch lines out of my presentation and e-mailed them to [person's name]. She e-mailed me to say she would prefer me to use PowerPoint for my presentation, and asked if I wanted her to help me create a PowerPoint presentation? I e-mailed her that the presentation is on the Mac version of PowerPoint, and no thank you.
Monday night at 9 p.m. (EST) [one week prior to my departure] she asked if I didn't want her to help me create a PowerPoint presentation. Bill, I've been in front of audiences for 40 years and have given talks all over the country and elsewhere. I did not appreciate a condescending little functionary suggesting I don't know how to give a talk. Then she asked me if I had booked a business class seat because [Company Name] rules say no business class. I said, No, I booked an economy seat on US Airways. How much was it? she asked. Around $1,900, I said. That is too much money, she said. Her travel person found a United flight from Philadelphia to Orlando with a more than three-hour layover in Orlando and then a flight to San Francisco—return the same way—for $350. I listened in stunned silence as she read this itinerary to me. What's more, she said, [Company Name] would be glad to pay the rebooking fee. I started mentally calculating the hours.
Companies Mentioned:
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