I receive all kinds of campaigns—consumer and business—and it’s clear that the marketing process is an afterthought. Here are the broken rules these nascent entrepreneurs think they can get away with:
* Postcard effort for a complex and expensive offer.
* Lead generation that describes everything, talks price and then urges the prospect to send for more information.
* A letter filled with “it” copy (as opposed to “you” or benefit-oriented copy)—a circular in drag.
* Pages of long-winded lectures and blather with no idea where it’s going or how it should be presented—a kind of meandering blog in print. (Note: Denny Hatch’s definition of a blog: “A cross between a blob and a bog.”)
* Pages of wild promises—of riches beyond the dreams of avarice all accomplished in your spare time from the afterdeck of your 155-foot yacht, and all of this mad hype from someone with zero credentials and nary a testimonial from a satisfied customer.
* Letter with footnotes or no letter at all.
* Zero emotion, zero urgency, zero offer.
The sad part is that these penurious amateurs think they can do their own marketing and have it validated by me with a free critique, when in fact it is marketing that drives business.
I’m reminded of two men meeting at a party. “What do you do?” asks the first guy. “I’m a brain surgeon,” the other replies. “What do you do?”
“I’m a writer.”
“Ah,” says the brain surgeon. “I have often thought that after I retire, I would like to do some writing.”
“Ah,” says the writer, “and I have often thought that after I retire, I would like to do a little brain surgery.”
Denny Hatch is a freelance direct marketing consultant and copywriter. You can contact him via e-mail at dennyhatch@yahoo.com.
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