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Denny's Daily Zinger: Keep the Offer Simple

May 21, 2014 By Denny Hatch
Get the Flash Player to see this rotator.
 
Because we've sailed with Norwegian Cruise Lines, they send us offers. The most recent:

Two Cruises. One Price. Zero Reasons To Not Book Now.

After jumping around the website, I think I figured out the deal:

  1. Book and sail on a seven-day cruise between May and September 2014.
  2. Get a free three-day or four-day cruise to the Bahamas between September 2013 and February of 2015.

This is terrific. After a terrible winter here in the Northeast, a seven-day Caribbean cruise on a brand-new Norwegian liner sounds real good.

And a freebie to the Bahamas next January is icing on the cake. Whew-hoo!

Norwegian Doubletalk. Is This Bait-'N'-Switch?
Have a look at Illustration No. 2 in the media player. Suddenly, Norwegian Cruise Line is talking about coupons—not free cruises.

(Note to Norwegians: In English, a "coupon" is something you redeem at the supermarket and get $1 off on a box of Brillo. If you are giving away a free cruise, you do it with a CERTIFICATE.)

In short, I do not trust these people.

Takeaway to Consider

  • This promotion smells to me like lawyers got their hands into this and messed with the copy and offer.
  • "The offer should be so simple an idiot can understand it." -Malcolm Decker
  • Before going "live" online with an offer (or a website or an order mechanism), forward it to some total strangers (not people in the office). If these folks have trouble understanding it, go back to the drawing board.
Denny Hatch's new book is "Write Everything Right!" Pat Friesen  writes, "This book is guaranteed to help you fine-tune your writing skills whatever you write. Denny's wit and craftsmanship as an experienced writer/author shine through on every page." Click here to download (opens as a PDF) and read the first three chapters FREE. The title is also available on Kindle. Reach Denny at dennyhatch@yahoo.com.
 

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