Denny’s Daily Zinger: Democrats! Yuck!

SUNDAY, 31 March 2014—from my Yahoo inbox:
FROM: Jordan Kaplan, Democrats.Org

SUBJECT: We need 310 people from Philadelphia before Monday

[See Illustration in the media box at right]

Jordan Kaplan wants money.

His copy drivers—emotional hot buttons causing me to act—are anger, fear and guilt:

Anger and Fear:
… the Koch brothers spending tens of millions of dollars to trash President Obama and his allies …

Guilt:
… I’m spending an unhealthy amount of time looking at spreadsheets to figure out if we’re going to be able to give Democratic candidates the resources they need to continue building their campaigns. Now, Denny, my eyes are pretty bleary …

Kaplan pissed me off alrightAT HIM AND AT DEMOCRATS!

  • I’m special. It’s insulting to be dumped into a silo of “310 people from Philadelphia.”
  • Kaplan’s copy—all about his tired eyes and his brother—is about his problems, not mine.
  • Check the P.S. for Kaplan’s pathetic attempt at humor.

Wanna make me angry, Jordan? Here’s your headline and lede:

The Ultimate Death Panel: Republicans
Six million scared Americans have signed up for Obamacare.

Republicans have voted 50 times to repeal it.

If Obamacare is scrapped—and if just one percent of those 6 million people die for lack of health care—the Republicans will have killed more Americans than the Vietnam War and 9/11 combined.

Takeaway to Consider

  • Note to Democrats: Hire a professional copywriter!

Denny Hatch is a copywriter, designer and direct marketing consultant. His most recent book is “Write Everything Right!” Contact him at dennyhatch@yahoo.com.

Denny Hatch is the author of six books on marketing and four novels, and is a direct marketing writer, designer and consultant. His latest book is “Write Everything Right!” Visit him at dennyhatch.com.
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Comments
  • Peter Rosenwald

    Right on the money (and money is what they are after, isn’t it?).

    You and your readers may remember an article I wrote for you about the way over the top barrage of emails, badly conceived, badly written and hopelessly arrogant that I receive every day from the Democrats. Four days ago, March 31st, there were 29 in total including three from the President himself. Sample subject lines: "Beyond Belief", "Jaw Dropping", "Almost UNFATHOMABLE".

    Now I’m a democrat and a contributor but I’m dangerously close to becoming a political recluse. Yes, a small number of very rich and very selfish people are trying (and may succeed) to buy the US government, spending billions (chicken feed to them compared to what they will save when their taxes are reduced and they don’t have to contribute to helping the ‘little guy’ or even the shrinking middle class). If this very big money and the lies it circulates persuade the American public to buy into their vision, well: it may not be show business but it is democracy. You get what you vote for.

    Yes, they need a good professional copywriter. But even more, they need a coherent strategy that talks intelligently to intelligent people, segmented into appropriate groupings, making positive statements not endlessly fear-driven appeals.

    It’s enough to make one want to find a cave and become a troglodyte. Anyone want to join me?

  • Glenn Peters

    Zing! As usual, you hit the nail on the head. Wrong strategy for an emotional connection. Embarrassing!

  • Larry

    Fantastic rewrite, Denny. His "appeal" wouldn’t have moved me, either.