In 1902, my father caught a dose of TB of the bone from a tubercular cow at a rented vacation house when he was four. With a shriveled right leg, he spent his life on crutches. He never pushed a shopping cart.
Mornings, my father would lie in bed and call the butcher or fish guy, green grocer, the cereal and canned goods people, etc. Borden delivered bottles of milk and cream every two days.
I never frequented a supermarket until I was 15.
What triggered this Zinger was a Philadelphia Inquirer story about a new online service:
Groceries Delivered in 1 hour from Whole Foods, Costco and Other Local Grocery Stores.
InstaCart takes its place along side peapod.com, amazon.com, netgrocer.com, freshdirect.com, et al.
Online Groceries Direct to Consumers: Viable Business Model?
Not for me. I work out of my home office and my relaxation lunch hour is spent food shopping.
- You have to wait for delivery. In the burbs, the stuff can be left on the back porch. In the city, it would be filched.
- You pay a little more.
- You don’t get to choose your own stuff. (Does the romaine look fresher than the iceberg?)
- Order all your food without ever leaving your computer.
- The Great: You are not suckered into impulse buying a bunch of extraneous junk that makes you fat, dyspeptic, manic or logy. You get the basics.
- You live healthier.
- Ultimately, you pay a lot less.
Denny Hatch is a copywriter, designer and direct marketing consultant. Click on the title below to read the first three chapters of his most recent book, “Write Everything Right!” Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org.