Denny’s Daily Zinger: Asking for Money to Save a Massive, Rusted-out Hunk of JunkJuly 24, 2014 By Denny Hatch
Passionate professionals described how to save children, clean the environment, eradicate disease and feed the hungry.
Save the SS United States!
The following week, The New York Times ran a story:
Keeping a Historic Ship Afloat
For 10 years, the United States—completely gutted—has turned Philadelphia's waterfront into a slum.
To this day, she holds the world's speed record from New York to Southampton—three days, 10 hours and 40 minutes.
The Sad History
In the early 1950s, the Pentagon wanted a fast (50-plus mph) ship that could be converted in 48 hours to carry 15,000 troops 11,000 miles without refueling.
Like the SST Concorde—her gigantic engines guaranteed she would never make money.
Launched in 1952, she was built entirely of iron and steel with only two pieces of wood—the butcher block and the dance floor.
Six years later, Pan American World Airways introduced the Boeing 707. Suddenly, working stiffs with two weeks' vacation could get to Europe in seven hours and see the world.
After 400 voyages, United States was deader than Kelsey's nuts.
Now, the designer's daughter wants to tow it to New York and save it.
My reaction: A mongrel with no reason to exist.
We'll continue to give our money to help humans, animals and the environment rather to this useless wreck.
Remember, "yech" rhymes with "wreck."
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