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Denny's Daily Zinger: Note to Carbonite - Hire a Copywriter and Fire Pete Lamson

August 13, 2014 By Denny Hatch
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I have entrusted the contents of my entire computer to Carbonite on an ongoing basis.

For $59 a year, Carbonite acts as a backup service. If a Malaysian Air jetliner crashes into my house—and I'm somewhere else at the time—I sleep at night knowing my life's work is in the Carbonite cloud.

I no longer sleep easy after two scary-as-hell emails from Carbonite:

1. Don't let your 0 files go unprotected - Subscribe now
You currently have 0 files on your computer ... backed up with Carbonite. Subscribe NOW

2. Our Error, Our Apologies

Dear Denny,

I am writing as a follow up to an email you may have received this morning suggesting you have no files backed up with Carbonite. This email was sent in error, resulting from a customer communications mistake. If you are an active subscriber, at no point was your account or stored data affected.

We apologize ... blah, blah, blah.

Best Regards, Pete Lamson SVP, Sales & Marketing

Takeaways to Consider

  • The line: "If you are an active subscriber ..."
  • What the hell do you mean, "IF you are an active subscriber"???
  • Don't you KNOW I'm an active subscriber???
  • Why is your text in unreadable light gray?
  • Fire your incompetent web designer.
  • Now I'm really scared of Carbonite. Just received a third email:
    SUBSCRIBE TODAY: Keep your 0 files protected
    Time is running out.
    Subscribe now to keep your files protected.
  • Carbonite cannot be trusted with data.
  • What to do?

Denny Hatch's new book is "Write Everything Right!" Dan Poynter writes, "Today's readers have lousy attention spans. Denny Hatch reveals the tested and proven attention-getting (and attention- holding) secrets of an elite, anonymous cadre of writers. They earn six and seven figures a year. Write Everything Right! is for all who put words on paper (or a digital screen) for others to read" Click here to download (opens as a PDF) and read the first three chapters FREE. The title is also available on Kindle. Reach Denny at dennyhatch@yahoo.com.

 
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