Another Insensitive Idiot Runs for Congress

Could this nitwit get a job in the real world?

As readers of this cranky rag may remember, I had nine jobs in my first 12 years in business and was fired from five of them.

I am a workaholic. I have worked steadily for 60 years and will continue to work until I am carried out of my office feet first.

On Dec. 28, long-term unemployment insurance was cut off from millions of Americans who have been laid off/fired/made redundant.

Say a person is 55. Has worked steadily for 30 years. Taxes and FICA have been paid faithfully. Suddenly the axe falls. Outsourcing and robots have wrecked the job market.

With the financial cut-off, Congress is saying to this loyal, taxpaying citizen who has been working for 30 years: “All long-term unemployed people are lazy bums looking for a handout. You’re a leech on the system. Stop whining and get a job.”

This makes my blood boil.

The E-Pitch from a Wannabe Congressional Poacher
My representative in Congress is Bob Brady. Good guy. Decent. Hard working. Nothing like this guy.

[See the media player at right for the email from a poacher. Please note: The original message I received is centered. It cannot be reproduced here, but it looks (and reads) real stupid.]

Date: Dec. 30, 2013

From: Daylin Leach Subject Line: Subject Line?

Dear Denny:

If you are like me (and who isn’t?), you’ve been receiving a lot of last-minute, end of quarter solicitations from political candidates. It turns out, that after careful scientific study, we can safely conclude that contrary to popular (meaning my…) opinion, people do NOT love getting these. I repeat, do NOT love getting these.

You can tell that they are solicitations because they always include a line that says something like: “Click here to make your contribution before our deadline to help Daylin get elected.

Denny Hatch is the author of six books on marketing and four novels, and is a direct marketing writer, designer and consultant. His latest book is “Write Everything Right!” Visit him at dennyhatch.com.
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Comments
  • York Somerville

    Denny,
    Don’t you get it, our elected officials are only there to be reelected! Most of them have never worked a real job. Just imagine if we stopped enabling all the illegals. In my industry we have thousands of these workers! They say if we didn’t have them who would do those jobs, da! So who did them before? All the free benefits our government gives out, could actually go to those who payed into the system. http://www.youthspeakingtoamerica.blogspot.com

  • Barry Dennis

    The beauty of the Internet is that almost everybody can "get their message(message, opinion, verbal diarrhea out." The horror of the Internet is that almost everybody can "get their message out," no matter how ugly, or illogical, or ill-conceived. The redeeming quality of the Internet is that people like you, erstwile Commenters, Bloggers and Pundits, can clarify, rectify, and otherwise inform all of us who value your opinion. Such power needs to be used judiciously. :)

  • Bea

    The "aren’t-we-oh-so-clever" marketing club strikes again.

  • Meg Nugent Hodges

    Your takeaways left out one observation of the sender: hopelessly narcissistic. But then a desire to run for office is likely a character flaw anyway so I suppose one shouldn’t really be surprised.

  • John Madsen

    Outsourcing and robots haven’t wrecked the job market. Bad economic policies by our government have wrecked the job market. You are worried about soothing the symptoms, not addressing the cure.

  • Peter Hochstein

    Leach’s letter instantly brought to mind a few lines from Don Marquis, the New York Sun columnist circa 1920s. Marquis insisted his column was written by the transmogrified soul of a free verse poet, reincarnated in the body of a cockroach named archy. (No upper case or punctuation, ever.) One of archy’s pals was mehitabel, a slutty alley cat, who has begun hanging out with a theater cat who complains about the quality of other feline actors these days. And the line?
    mehitabel he says
    both our professions
    are being ruined
    by amateurs

  • tony the pitiful copywriter

    Even if Team Leach thinks their base is full of progressive leaning wise-guy hipsters, his message is missing an opportunity to connect with independents and moderates.

    I know I feel stupid any time I don’t "get" a joke, don’t you?

    While I’m at it, if you study political messages from the far right, you’ll experience no such attempts at humor — absolutely none. Team Leach should have known better if they want to win elections.

  • PeterL

    I’m painfully aware, Denny, that – these days – many of those who create direct marketing have no real background in the field … which explains the DM101-level flubs in Leech’s email. "It’s only a letter", the boss says, so they get a handy, low-paid young website designer or "social media" hipster to throw something together. Trouble is, many of them not only don’t know anything, but they don’t KNOW they don’t know anything and therefore haven’t got the sense to hire an experienced d.m. copywriter. Sigh.

  • Mikewrite

    Denny, you’re just letting your biased liberal leaning get in the way.

  • Mary Rose Maguire

    Denny, you’re one of my copywriting heroes. I just discovered you a little more than a year ago and was smitten from the start. Such common sense (which isn’t as common, actually)! I couldn’t resist firing off a blog post about this one, linking to your article. If I do say so myself, I like my image for the post, "Copywriter Takedown." :-)

    If I were a betting woman, I’d lay odds that this writer subscribes to idea that one must be "cool and hip" in order to gain attention. And those subject lines… gah! Why on earth would a person care? For some reason, this email makes me weep for our country. And if the writer is old enough to remember Wham! then he’s old enough to know better.

    My post: http://www.maryrosemaguire.com/2014/01/07/how-not-to-ask-for-a-political-contribution-email/

  • GeorgeM

    Thanks Denny. However, I do think Leach is probably marketing to his populist demo quite well. He may just go all the way! This was written 93 years ago by a pretty smart progressive: “As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron.” — H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, 26 July 1920.

  • http://BrendanRoss Brendan Ross

    Is there some way we could roll back the clock to the good old days and pay Congress on a piecework basis. That way if they didn’t get anything accomplished, no paycheck. And with the NLRB without any real power, they’d be stuck.

  • Judy Colbert

    Also looks to me like someone was paid by the comma.

  • Frank

    This politician apparently can see the future of this country, and he is addressing his constituency. With 49% of the country receiving a check courtesy of the other 51% who are paying, he wants to position himself as the guy who will be there to make sure that those checks keep going out. He lists all of the progressive issues that he supports, further solidifying all of those groups into a voter base for his candidacy. It doesn’t matter that there are typos and grammatical mistakes, because the unionized teachers have made sure that their former students wouldn’t be able to notice anyway.